More Bush Failure: Coup Attempt in Iraq

Rove has been working The Villagers hard, trying to rehab Bush prior to January 20.

His claim is that Bush accomplished real (worthwhile) accomplishments.

For example, "He kept us safe after 9/11."

It's a lie. (Rove's still breathing; that's how you know he's lying.)

Roughly 5,000 U.S. service women and men dead, 50,000 wounded, 100,000 Iraqs' dead, 1,000,000 wounded, and an entire country torn to shreds. Plus our allies.

Leaving aside the brown not U.S. people, that's 55,000 U.S. people (plus contractors) dead or wounded), and over $250 billion dollars on the record, figure another $250 billion in off-record funds such as pre-positioned not budgeted, training costs back in the states, non DOD and non-supplemental costs, tasks not accounted for, and at least another Trillion with a T in future VA medical costs coming at us like a fucking mile-wide asteroid at 50,000 miles per hour.

That's the money. It doesn't count the 500,000 veterans of which AT LEAST one out of three, more likely one out of two are going to be suffering PTSD or some kind of delayed reaction to having served at least one tour. And I haven't once even mentioned Afghanistan, it's costs (in all senses), that we can NOT POSSIBLY win (no matter how the word "win" is defined), and that Obama has been suckered into planning to deploy more troops there, Gods help us all.

And oh yeah, there's a little thing called Al-Qadea, which is quite thoroughly established in Iraq, and it was not before Bush invaded. So Bush has massively failed to keep members of the United States safe since 9/11. He's gotten lots of us killed or wounded.

Futhermore, what means this word, "safe," which Rove keeps throwing around?

If we look at "safe" past physical safety in the very strictest of terms, we immediately come to financial safety, health, welfare, and the common good -- you know, the shit the Constitution was put together to protect, that which we fought the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, and two World Wars to make goddamn sure we had, not to mention survived the Great Depression, the 60s, 80s, and now the 2000s.

Guess what?

Bush has blown the accumulated financial capital of the entire country, much of our physical wellbeing, plus our safety in our own homes (those of us who still have homes), sold off or allowed to be destroyed many of our most beautiful and treasured places, and wiped his ass with the Constitution.

Much of the justification for all of this has been that Bush's attention has been on Iraq. That he has been a "foreign policy" president, a "war time" president, who is "staying the course." That if only we faithless fucks would get off his damn back and let him rule like the unitary executive he was clearly born to be (after he turned 40, found Jesus, and stopped doing cocaine off the bellies of strippers while drunk), why then he'd be able to get the damn job done and all would be well.

But fear not... Eventually Iraq will turn out as a democratic nation if we dirty fucking hippies don't give up the gains he, George W. Bush has made on the altar of blood and American lives (the brown lives don't count), and he, Bush, will go down in history (long after he is dead; he has said repeatedly he does not expect this to happen in his lifetime) as a Great American President in the judgment of history.

No shit. He's really said that. On camera. Repeatedly.

Yeah, well, you didn't think the drunk fuck had any connection to reality, did you?

Anyway, Rove has been attempting to rehab Bush's image. True.

But now there's this nasty little coup attempt in Iraq. Which means... Well.

Blue Girl has the story:

They gave us a republic...

Over the last three days as many as 35 officials in Iraq's Interior Ministry have been arrested, some of them accused of trying to reconstitute the Baath Party. The arrests were confirmed by officials from the Ministries of National Defense and Interior, as well as the office of the Prime Minister. It was also confirmed that four of those detained were flag-rank officers, including the General who served as Director of Internal Affairs for the Interior Ministry. It was also confirmed that the arrests were made by an elite counterterrorism strike force that reports directly to the office of the Prime Minister.

The involvement of the counterterrorism unit speaks to the seriousness of the accusations, and several officials from the Ministries of the Interior and National Security said that some of those arrested were in the early stages of planning a coup.

Rumors of coups, conspiracies and new alliances abound in the Iraqi capital a month before provincial elections. Critics of Mr. Maliki say he has been using arrests to consolidate power.

But senior security officials said there was significant evidence tying those arrested to a wide array of political corruption charges, including affiliation with Al Awda, or the Return, a descendant of the Baath Party, which ruled the country as a dictatorship for 35 years, mostly under Mr. Hussein. Tens of thousands of Iraqis died or were persecuted, including Mr. Maliki, a Shiite Muslim, by the Baath Party. It was outlawed after the American invasion in 2003.

On the other hand, there are those who say that there is a conspiracy, all right - but it is being perpetrated by Maliki and his loyalists who are using arrests to silence those perceived to be political opponents. Interior Minister Jawad Kadem al-Bolani, who has not been implicated and is out of the country, has political ambitions of his own. He has been expanding his secular Iraqi Constitutional Party.

At a later protest against the arrest, several other Sunni politicians were detained. A number of politicians who follow the Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr, and who have set themselves up as political rivals to the prime minister, have also been arrested over the past months and charged with terrorist activities.

Saleh al-Mutlaq, a Sunni lawmaker, charged that the safety of the prisoners was in jeopardy. "I think these people are not going to be treated well and that is the American responsibility," he said.

Here I would like to remind the readers that the whole purpose of the SurgeÔ was to allow for political reconciliation that has obviously not happened. And if we are propping up a thug in an Armani suit who is sending out henchmen to arrest his political opponents, that rather negates any and all accomplishments that they are trying to lay claim to, doesn't it?

There's more...

Let me quote you that last little big again:

...if we are propping up a thug in an Armani suit who is sending out henchmen to arrest his political opponents, that rather negates any and all accomplishments that they are trying to lay claim to, doesn't it?

Sing it Blue Girl.

Bush has accomplished NOTHING.

Iraq is in shambles. Their and our economies are trashed.

The Vice President is an admitted war criminal who personally approved torture.

Bush is a drunken scumbag who can't even leave office gracefully, refusing to allow the Obama's to move in to Blair House 10 days early (January 5 instead of January 15) in order to let the Obama daughters start school after the New Year.

There are back alleys in San Francisco and West Oakland where sex workers and their clients go, covered in used discarded condoms.

Bush is a discarded condom, dripping with slime. (Unlike Bush, condoms work.)

Rove is the slime, trying to make it all pretty.

It's not.

Fuck off, Rove.

There's more...

"I'm entitled to THE math"

Just before the 2006 midterm elections, Karl Rove said:

I add up to a Republican Senate and Republican House. You may end up with a different math but you are entitled to your math and I'm entitled to THE math.

It didn't turn out that way:

The Senate election was part of the Democratic sweep of the 2006 elections, in which no Congressional or gubernatorial seat held by a Democrat was won by a Republican. Democratic candidates defeated six Republican incumbents: Rick Santorum (Penn.), Mike DeWine (Ohio), Lincoln Chafee (R.I.), Jim Talent (Mo.), Conrad Burns (Mont.), and George Allen (Va.). Incumbent Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman (Conn.) lost an August Democratic primary challenge but won re-election as an independent. Democrats kept their two open seats in Minnesota and Maryland, and Republicans held onto their lone open seat in Tennessee. In Vermont, Bernie Sanders, an independent, was elected to the seat left open by independent Senator Jim Jeffords.

With a mere 1.6 million seconds to go (about 19 days) until the 2008 election, Dick Morris has come out with his prediction for the electoral map:

If the election took place this week, it would be a wipeout of major proportions. Even McCain‘s home state of Arizona has to be classified as leaning toward Obama. McCain, as of now, can be certain of carrying just eight states with a combined total of only 36 electoral votes.

Morris predicts 396 EVs for Obama to a mere 110 EVs for McCain, and only 36 EVs as solidly in McCain's pocket compared to 355 EVs solidly for Obama.

Dick Morris can hardly be considered a solid Democratic partisan. He helped Governor Bill Clinton get re-elected in Arkansas and was a successful Republican strategist before returning to work for President Bill Clinton's second presidential campaign and has since said he'd leave the country if Hillary were elected in 2008. But he's gone waaaay out on a limb to suggest that Arizona and Arkansas are leaning and solidly for Obama and South Carolina and Georgia are presently tossups. It's possible that he's trying a Hail Mary to get out in front of Republican disaster so he can later claim to have been the first to see just how bad it was going to be. Or he might be setting up a position where he can claim that X campaign element he suggested has improved McCain's situation. Or maybe his professional dominatrix told him how it would all turn out.

A More Solid Set of Projections
I've previously mentioned that I follow FiveThirtyEight.com and Electoral-Vote.com. Pollster.com is also good. As of 2008.10.14, FiveThirtyEight's map looks like:

While Electoral-Vote.com's looks like:

There are minor variations, but both show Obama in the 355-360 EV range whereas Pollster.com shows Obama at 313 EVs (but shows 70 tossups -- a far higher number than either FiveThirtyEight or Electoral-Vote):

Right now, polling shows us a rockslide (less than a landslide, but getting there) for Obama. Trends are also encouraging for the Democratic party. Electoral-Vote shows us two different graphs, with and without "leans" EVs:

Even without leaners, Electoral-Vote has Obama over 270 EVs. Pollster.com's trend is harder to read, but shows us more information:

You can see that polls are coming thicker and faster now than earlier in the cycle, and that we're starting to see some real clumping of results and divergence between the red (Republican) and the blue (Democratic).

It looks good for the Democratic party. Republicans are starting to abandon states they would normally win easily. The national Republican organization is beginning to pull money from the national race to shore up state candidates long thought "safe".

The only game-changer left that I can see working for McCain is a successful terrorist attack and even that is unlikely to succeed, since more and more Americans see Obama as more trustworthy in a crisis.

She's warming up in the wings....

There's more...

Banana Republicans: "Subpoenas? We don't heed no stinkin' subpoenas!"

(Photo: Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Photoillustration: Evan Robinson, Group News Blog)

One of the overarching themes of the Bush administration has been absolute contempt for the rule of law. Bush aides and White House officials have refused to honor subpoenas from Congress. Bush himself has altered 1100 laws or sections of laws using extra-constitutional "signing statements". Many of these signing statements include specific objections to any congressional oversight over the Executive branch at all. Bush just ignored FISA and decided to wiretap anybody he wanted to.

We now see how a McCain/Palin administration would compare:

Todd Palin was among 13 people subpoenaed by the Alaska legislature. McCain-Palin presidential campaign spokesman Ed O'Callaghan announced yesterday that Mr Palin would not appear...

According to the Alaska Daily News, Governor Palin said in July that she would cooperate fully with an investigation:

Sharon Leighow, the governor's spokeswoman, said Palin "doesn't see a need for a formal investigation," but is willing to answer questions.
"The governor has said all along that she will fully cooperate with an investigation and her staff will cooperate as well," Leighow said.

But now we see that Palin (with McCain's backing) has decided to ignore legally presented subpoenas:

It is illegal in the State of Alaska to fail to comply with legislative subpoenas. But Todd Palin has announced he will do exactly that which the law prohibits for one simple reason -- because nothing can be done about it until after the election, and even then, it's unlikely much will be done to punish him for breaking the law. Sarah Palin has similarly ordered all of her aides to refuse to comply with these subpoenas even though doing so is illegal, because she, too, doubts there will be consequences for this illegal behavior. Or, as Bill O'Reilly put it in his righteous Rule of Law tirade: "I'm going to do it anyway. I dare you to come get me."

There is no doubt that the Legislature has the right to investigate and that these Subpoenaas are lawfully issued. Before Palin was selected as McCain's running mate, virtually everyone in Alaska -- including her -- agreed that the Legislature could and should investigate these allegations.

Republicans simply believe that the law doesn't actually apply to them.

That makes them ineligible for high office.

There's more...

The Post In Which Karl Rove Channels Hall & Oates' Hit Single “Out Of Touch”

The Above Visual Metaphor Worked. The One Karl Rove Cited This Morning? Um. No. Never. And What The Fuck?

As it's hot as hell today with Summer officially on, let's just dive on into the deep end of the cool pool of GOP crazy, shall we?

Rove: Obama's the Guy at the Country Club Holding a Martini Making Snide Comments About Everyone Else

June 23, 2008 1:36 PM
ABC News' Christianne Klein reports that at a breakfast with Republican insiders at the Capitol Hill Club this morning, former White House senior aide Karl Rove referred to Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois, as “coolly arrogant.”

“Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He's the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

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Interesting that Mr. Rove would use a country club metaphor to describe the first major party African-American presidential candidate, whom I'm sure wouldn't be admitted into many country clubs that members of the Capitol Hill Club frequent.

But the picture Rove paints is interesting. Who, pray tell, is Rove at this country club?

The guy telling funny stories near the band?

The charming president of the club's philanthropic arm?

The brainy guy with all the sports scores?

Or the guy who vandalizes your car and blames it on the kitchen staff?

I'll wait while you feel around for your eyes on the floor seeing as how they popped out of your head a few seconds ago.

Washed 'em off? Got 'em back in? Good! Let's make short work of this Tacoma Narrows Bridge of “reasoning” on Rove's part.

First of all, you should take note that Karl Rove been damn near out of his mind with his every loopy pronouncement since the fall of 2006, when he screeched about how he had “The Math”(favorable to the Republicans) immediately prior to the mid-term elections he bollixed up so badly for the GOP. He's managed to make the ramblings of an end-stage syphilitic like Al Capone (“The Bolsheviks! The God-damn Bolsheviks!”) sound like homespun folk-wisdom in comparison.

Perhaps sympathetically, like the person he's championing to replace his boss, he's utterly “lost his bearings” on reality. That's the truly crazy part of his “Country Club” statement—in likening someone who looks like Barack Obama to a pink-cheeked, millionaire swell sippin' Rob Roys at “The Nineteenth Hole” or somethin'. How out of your mind do you have to be in America to make that kind of rhetorical leap?

Let's spell out that leap:

Yeah. It's the Black dude whose father booked up on him, leavin' his White mom to raise him alone, who stilll managed to excel academically, and in spite of that—came back to the South Side of Chicago to work in the 'hood' with his 'peeps', instead of taking the stoopid-money Wall Street jobs...who's the arrogant guy at the country club. Not the guy who married into millions, took part in a Savings and Loan scam, ripping off even mo' millions, and...owns like eight houses in choice locales all over the country. Mmm-kay?

I mean...this is a land where a well-to-do Black Lawyer went undercover a decade ago as a busboy at an exclusive Country Club in Connecticut (as that was the only way he could get in the place) to find out first-hand what down-their-nose White folks really thought of Blacks when they felt they didn't have to hold their tongues around them out of concerns for propriety. There are places where my Black ass would be hauled away and arrested “The Dude” style just for lingering too close to the Goddamned shrubbery at the gate, and Rove somehow sees Barack Obama—who the last time I checked, doesn't sign his name as “Biff”, “Chip” or fucking “Cadwallader” as the “the Guy at the Country Club Holding a Martini Making Snide Comments About Everyone Else.”?

There are too many of these clubs in America where if Obama showed up unannounced with a “member”, all of a sudden there'd be a full course and no room to play—but hey, there's always room in the back for another n*gger to scrub bits of Cobb Salad off the dishes and whatnot, eh?

So, color me wet sand-trap brown, but I'm just not getting this analogy of Rove's with Obama as the swell and... I guess his boy McCain as the scrappy outsider. Is Rove's issue with his inability thus far to elicit the desired “response” from the senator from Illinois? The desired “Angry Black Thug” angle he's so desperate to exploit—whether its rooted in an actual statement or rebuttal from Obama or not? “How dare he seem above the bullshit I'm trying to run! That arrogant S.O.B.! He won't get 'ghetto' like he's supposed to!”

That just may be it.

That...and the whole “Tiger Woods” comparison redux. We first noted this a couple of months ago when a lesser McCain surrogate ham-fistedly made the comparison of Obama to the hated Tiger Woods in pumping up the sad spectacle of the GOP's “champion”...

You see, the usage of Woods as a slang shorthand for Barack Obama speaks to a certain racial paranoia of the part of folks like Bellavia. I was in Augusta, Georgia the weekend that Tiger Woods officially burst onto golf's lily-white scene in 1997. I wasn't there for the tournament mind you, but rather, I was visiting a significant other who was performing in town. I found myself at trip's end at Bush Field, the city's airport waiting for my flight home, aimlessly walking from my gate to the oddly crowded bar and back. I finally stopped at the bar's fringe—I couldn't get in it from the huge crowd packing the place—and noticed what everyone was looking at, namely the final round of the Masters tournament just a stone's throw away in which first-year PGA pro Tiger Woods was ripping through the course like Caddyshack's Ty Webb on a fast-drip adrenaline and espresso I.V.. There was a 99% White crowd in that airport bar, and all you could hear over the hushed announcer tones from the TV were grunted “God-damns”, “Fucks”, and an almost percussive slamming down of beer bottles and cheap glass tumblers at every dead-solid-perfect drive and seemingly magnetically-guided putt.

No slurs...just a palpable displeasure with what was transpiring. There was a lot of head-shaking and napkin-tossing. And I must say, more than a few almost hissed “Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievables”. I intentionally lingered there amongst that grumpy assemblage, maybe courting trouble, but mostly getting a secondary visual dig in at that unreasonably angry bunch. There were two Black people within thirty feet of that ball of anger. Me, and a guy I thought was an airport employee as he had a uniform-ish-looking outfit on and was leaned against a trash bin. He and I made eye contact for a moment and there was a knowing smile. He was lingering too, a fellow “chip in the cookie” like me. He shook his head with a silent laugh as Woods trod the green grass back to the clubhouse, post-massacre, and the man pulled his wheeled bag hidden by the bin and walked down to his gate...with a big “Callaway Golf” logo on the back of his windbreaker. Golf fan? Duffer? I don't know what he was exactly, but he was getting as much enjoyment out of the first wave of the “sea change” we had just witnessed. I turned back to the crowd and couldn't help but notice their noticing us. There was an odd silence amongst them as they looked on. An almost collective audible and visual sigh from them looking at us, clearly translating as an exasperated “Oh great...we'll have to hear about this shit from 'them' forever about this.”

Woods' win there and his subsequent hyper-dominance and revolutionizing of the game is something that many look at with a level of awe...and a lot of others scowl at with barely-concealed disgust. He effectively took a game—golf—away from the demographic group that pretty much owned it outright since its inception 600 years ago.

He's in the process of re-writing the record book, and doing so at a younger age and with a more punishing dominance than his predecessors. Those facts have upset many of his peers, with requests that courses be “Tiger-proofed” with new and more challenging layouts, spiteful talk of how the game's popularity is in jeopardy due to Woods' “Colossus amongst men” skewing of the sport's talent curve (“If no one else is gonna win—why watch?”), and even outright verbal denigration from...well, there's no other word to use but “haters”

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But the underlying zing from the mumbling, GOP-backing sergeant is that aforementioned fear-and jealousy based dissing that Tiger Woods is the constant recipient of. When you think about it, Bellavia's stuttering blather smacks of that same “How dare you enter and rule my last bastion of power?”-speak—I mean, this is the Presidency we're talking about here—not too many last bastions beyond there. And as Woods' emergence represented some serious applecart upsetting, just the consideration of an Obama's ascending to the Presidency flips the whole damned orchard upside-down.

'Oh no. This is the one thing you will not take take from us. not this. NOT the fucking Presidency'.

It was a punk-ass scream for help that he thought was a silent dog whistle.

Well...woof-woof, mother-fucker..

Thus, it's Obama/Woods all over again. I liked the “beautiful date” part of it this time, though. The whole equating the statuesque Michelle Obama with Tiger's Swedish ex-model wife Elim Nordegren. Can you feel the hate, kiddies? Grrrrrrrr! Spinning the senator as the casually victorious, “arrogant” king of all he touches, as some sort of passive-aggressive “poor-mouthing” of the scrappy, l'il McCain's candidacy.

“Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion...”

Oh...fucking...please, Karl. Really? That's the talking point, now? Seriously? Even ABC's Jake Tapper is clowning your ass mightily with your unfortunate bit of drama-queenery from this morning, noting Rove's obvious familiarity with the “Country Club Types”. Again:

But the picture Rove paints is interesting. Who, pray tell, is Rove at this country club?

The guy telling funny stories near the band?

The charming president of the club's philanthropic arm?

The brainy guy with all the sports scores?

Or the guy who vandalizes your car and blames it on the kitchen staff?

Who is Rove in this setting? None of the above.

He's this guy.



The fuck-up scion of the man in charge...lucky because of where he is, but not who he is. Never called on his bullshit, and given enough rope to hang ten men. The mean, spoiled, and classless in spite of his being “To the Manor Born” Spaulding-fucking-Smails from “Caddyshack”. He's the “kid who can do no wrong” because he'll always get another chance, and everybody around him gets the fist upside the head as punishment. He's right twice a day, just like a broken clock and that's been his “get over” for years.

But...if you look at his record—especially lately, he's still...a...fuck-up. Just like his boss. Can you spell “transference”, kids. I bet you could.

All that's left is for him to do is to drunkenly puke his guts out into the sunroof of an expensive car at this point.

I'm hoping it's a Texas-bound limousine pulling out of the White House driveway on January 20th 2009.

There's more...

Rove Subpoened...

WASHINGTON -- The House Judiciary Committee on Thursday subpoenaed President Bush's former chief political adviser, Karl Rove, to testify about whether the White House improperly meddled with the Justice Department.

Accusations of politics influencing decisions at the department led to the resignation last year of Bush's attorney general, Alberto Gonzales.

It's unclear whether Rove will ever be forced to testify. The White House refuses to let him or other top aides testify about private conversations with Bush, citing executive privilege to block Congress' demands.

The subpoena orders Rove to appear before the House panel on July 10. Lawmakers want to ask him about the White House's role in firing nine U.S. attorneys in 2006 and the prosecution of former Gov. Don Siegelman of Alabama, a Democrat. -- Seattle PI

Let the 45 day countdown begin. It was a mistake for Rove to leave the White House, he has little protection now and can get no help from the president's lawyers. They didn't release Siegelman because they thought he was guilty, it must have been really obvious to the appellate judge that he was railroaded. This case has the smell of Rove's rancid paws all over it. Will Rove be taking Siegelman's cell before the end of the year? They are going to love his pudgy pasty fat ass in the joint. Tossed Salad anyone?

There's more...

I Believe The Term Is, “Sweat Like A Pig”?

“Hello Karl-O...”

I'm no behavioral scientist, but after we dealt with the tale of Karl Rove's uh...“people's” seeming over-reaction to “60 Minutes' airing of an interview with Don Siegelman—a.k.a. someone who is rapidly earning the moniker of “The Wrong Man To Have Fucked With”, it would appear that our favorite porcine protagonist appears to be getting a bit hotter under his wattle-spilled collar.

Via Crooks and Liars and Dan Abrams' “Verdict”:

So what happens when a journalist actually does his/her job and exposes corruption at the highest levels of our government? They get complaint letters from the criminals they exposed. Abrams detailed tonight that he received a 5-page letter from Rove complaining about the great reporting he’s been doing on the political prosecution of Don Siegelman.

“Today the House Judiciary Committee asked Rove to testify under oath about the case. But just last week, we asked Rove‘s attorney, Robert Luskin, in an E-mail whether Rove would testify if subpoenaed by congress. His attorney said, quote, 'Sure. Although it seems to me that the question is somewhat offensive. It assumes he has something to hide even though Gov. Siegelman‘s uncorroborated assertions aside, there is literally no credible evidence whatsoever to substantiate his charges.'

Now under pressure from congress, Luskin has completely backtracked, telling roll call, quote, 'Whether, when and about what a former White House official will testify is not for me or my client to decide but is part of an ongoing negotiation between the White House and congress over executive privilege issues.'

Since Rove has said he had no conversations with the White House about it, what is the executive privilege here? Rove also sent me an angry five-page letter yesterday suggesting all sorts of questions he thinks I could have and should have asked various guests in the program including the former governor himself.

But he only suggested questions, no answers. We‘ll probably talk more about that letter later and I‘ll be responding to Mr. Rove.

Mr. Rove, this is your opportunity to answer under oath many of the questions you suggest I should have asked. Your attorney had said in no uncertain terms you would testify. We have the E-mail. And since you seemed determine to get to the truth, I would think you would embrace this opportunity to testify to congress.

We are not going to let this story die. A jury found Don Siegelman guilty. But if his prosecution was driven by partisans after him because he was a Democrat, in this case needs to be revisited, and an appellate court has ruled it will be.

Counsel Robert Luskin's letter to Abrams on behalf of Rove—a five-page jobbie(!)—absolutely reeks of the same panicky over-reaction shown in the nutty string pulling that got Siegelman's damning “60 Minutes” interview blanked in half of Alabama. Seems pretty bent out of shape over things Abrams didn't actually say in his report. Oopsie! For all the bluster about the cool and calm and confidence of Rove, one cannot help but notice a strange hypersensitivity on this particular issue. There's an over-compensation at play here and a sloppy one at that. Blackouts? Five-page letters to a program that half the “Countdown” audience tunes out of?? Hmmmm...

Why, if I didn't know better, I'd be tempted to say that in Rove's supposed “post”-political career (Yes, I put “post” in scare-quotes. I'd take note of the decidedly Rovian ad-pushes in the still crimson-necktied North Carolina and other potential swing states. It's almost as if his team is trying to get their shots in now—peculiarly early—for some reason. Maybe someone's worried that there may be more pressing fish to fry come general-election crunch-time), hastened by an oddly-timed resignation and a lame-duck administration that inspires outright derision and not a worry of retribution, there may be actual concern about the freshly emboldened people out gunning for him.

You see...when you “ratfuck” enough people for a long enough time, the odds are that at some point, the law of averages will out, and you yourself may feel the not-so-gentle-probings of rodentis phallicus. Siegelman's down for the “slam-bam” and has no interest in lube or sweet talk. It would appear that others aren't terribly concerned with the mess that is sloppy seconds either. Via Newsweek:

The trial of Chicago developer and political fixer Antoin “Tony” Rezko has been closely watched for any mention of the defendant's onetime friend, Barack Obama. But last week, prosecutors threw a curveball, telling the judge that one of their witnesses is prepared to raise the name of another prominent Washington hand: Karl Rive. Former Illinois state official Ali Ata is expected to testify about a conversation he had with Rezko in which the developer alleged Rove was "working with" a top Illinois Republican to remove the Chicago U.S. attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald.

The allegation, which Rove denies, quickly reverberated in Washington. Democrats in Congress now want to question Ata. They believe he can help buttress their theory that Rove played a key role in discussions that led to the firings of U.S. attorneys at the Justice Department in 2006. The House Judiciary Committee "intends to investigate the facts and circumstances alleged in this testimony," panel chairman Rep. John Conyers of Michigan said in a statement to NEWSWEEK.

Investigators are intrigued by the timing of the alleged conversation about Fitzgerald. According to the Rezko prosecutors, it took place in November 2004—weeks after Fitzgerald had subpoenaed Rove to testify for the third time in another matter he was aggressively investigating, the Valerie Plame CIA leak case. A source familiar with Ata's testimony (who asked not to be identified talking about sensitive matters) said that Ata was meeting regularly with Rezko that fall. The two men shared a concern about Fitzgerald's ongoing probe of Illinois public officials. In one of those conversations, the developer allegedly told Ata that Bob Kjellander, a prominent GOP state lobbyist, was talking to Rove about getting rid of Fitzgerald. The reason: to "get a new U.S. attorney" who would not pursue the Illinois corruption probe, the source said. Ata, who has pleaded guilty to corruption-related charges and is now cooperating with the Feds, has no evidence that the conversation took place other than what Rezko allegedly told him, the source says.

Intrigung...to say the least. But Rove according to the article denies the allegation whole-heartedly. Until that is, his all-over-the-place ass-coverer lawyer Luskin decided that statement should be...well, qualified just a bit. The categorical denial shifted to that old standby of soap-opera amnesia victims and pressured White House hacks “I don't recall” when it came down to GOP bigwig Kjellander's pressing him on Fitzgerald's removal.

And then, Luskin tried to hop into the DeLorean yet again, to go back in time and “fix” things...

I (Paul Kiel of TPM—ed. note) spoke to Luskin just now, and he said that his statement ought to be qualified a bit: his statement on Kgellander stands as is, he said, but during the independent counsel investigation, he said, Rove was "frequently" approached about canning Fitzgerald: "a number of people approached Karl and suggested that Fitzgerald be removed because of the alleged politicization of the investigation, but he never took any follow-up steps except to say that I can't talk about that. He didn't want to do anything seen as compromising Fitzgerald's independence." Those approaches, Luskin said, came during fundraisers or other political events "in an unsolicited way.... Karl simply never responded and did not take any action."

That is an awful lot of frantic ass-covering isn't it? Like a butt-nekkid Charles Barkley trying to stitch a pair of bermudas from a single square of Charmin. It's interesting to note that this was supposed to be Rove's freeing “cool-out” time where he could lay back without having to deal with the day-to-days of shtupping two other government branches in the pooper and instead freelance as an as-needed, Ratfucker Emeritus—doing the neccessary odd bit of craven evil to minimize Democratic gains this election cycle and to steal votes at the presidential-level wherever possible. Having to deal with pesky, subpoena-level shit like this was not part of the game plan. And it resurrects all sorts of ugliness, like the U/S. Attorneys scandal, and the specter of GOP criminality as we enter the stretch run of election season.

It's a perfect storm of distraction for the GOP's one-time ace (remember “The Math?”) message master and vote rainmaker. And from the looks of his clunky and ham-fisted responses to these things, they may wind up as more than just “distractions”. Yes, Luskin will do his lawyerly best to stall, dodge and clog up the works to try and keep Rove's incendiary hands off any Bibles between now and January 20th 2009, but I think people tend to get a liitle bolder when they feel a bully can't hurt 'em any more.

I think you'll hear Rove's name come up in a few more stories in ways that'll put him even more on the defensive as the months trundle on. Whether there'll be enough dimes dropped to maka a dollar remains to be seen. But a simple law of science is that oil and water do not mix—and a once-greasy,impossible to catch pig is now starting to sweat a little. Sweat's mostly water last time I checked.

Catch a piggie by the toe...if he hollers, don't let him go...

There's more...

Former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman (D) Released On Appeal

Lookin' A Little Moist There As We Play Out The Clock, Karl?

It hit like a thing falling out of the sky late yesterday. Potentially devastating in a “Donnie Darko”-sh way and just as freaky and unexpected.

For those with a stake in it—those whose law-flouting acts precipitated it, it's a late-in-the-game “Hail Mary” from the opponent unexpectedly connecting near the goal line.

Those little “plip” and “flutter” sounds you hear are sweat beads a' running and sphincters a' puckering.

Sweet music indeed to the ears of those on the side of right.

Ex-Governor of Alabama Is Ordered Released

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Donald Siegelman, former governor of Alabama, was ordered released from prison on Thursday by a federal appeals court, pending his appeal of a bribery conviction that Democrats say resulted from a politically driven prosecution.

In its order, the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit, in Atlanta, said Mr. Siegelman had raised “substantial questions” in his appeal of the case and could be released on bond from the federal prison in Oakdale, La., where he has served nine months of a seven-year sentence. The order did not say what those questions were, but his lawyers have argued for months that the bribery charge on which he was mainly convicted revolved around a transaction that differed little, if at all, from a standard political contribution.

Mr. Siegelman’s lawyers maintained that — as is standard in many white-collar crime cases — the veteran Democratic politician never should have been imprisoned in the first place while he appealed his conviction.

“He should not have been manacled and taken off in the night,” said his lawyer, G. Robert Blakey, also a professor at the University of Notre Dame, citing the ex-governor’s immediate imprisonment after his conviction, a point of contention for his supporters.

The chief prosecutor in the case, Louis Franklin, told The Associated Press that he was “very disappointed” by the order but hoped to eventually prevail.

Mr. Siegelman’s case has been cited by Democrats here and in Washington as Exhibit A in their contention that politics has influenced decisions by the Justice Department, which prosecuted the former governor. In addition, Mr. Siegelman’s conviction in June 2006 here sharply polarized the political climate in this state, and suggestions by his supporters and others that the former Bush White House political director, Karl Rove, may have been involved have only increased the tensions.

Republicans have angrily denied the accusations of politics, but Mr. Siegelman has picked up some outside support for his claims of political prosecution. The House Judiciary Committee has held hearings on his case, and 44 former state attorneys general, Democrats and some Republicans, signed a petition last summer urging Congress to look into the conviction.

The court’s order came on the same day that the Judiciary Committee made a request to the Justice Department that the former governor be freed temporarily to travel to Washington next month to testify about his assertions that he was prosecuted for political reasons. A committee spokeswoman cited difficulties in getting information from the department as a reason for wanting Mr. Siegelman’s testimony.

Why does all of this matter? Let's go back, as the Incredible Jimmy Castor used to say—“Way back...to the days of the trogolodytes.” courtesy of the muckrakers over at Josh Marshall's posh, investigative digs.

A lifelong Republican attorney from Alabama, Dana Jill Simpson, has come forward and sworn out an affadavit claiming that in 2002 a close associate of Karl Rove claimed that Rove had told him that he'd gotten the Department of Justice to investigate then-Alabama Governor Don Siegelman (D) and that he was sure the investigation would eventually take Siegelman out of politics. Is the claim true? Was Rove successfully using the DOJ to pursue politics by other means as far back as 2002?

The 'denials' from the other parties on the conference call have either been feeble, non-responsive or non-existent. And the charge is serious enough that you would certainly expect that if the claim could be roundly denied it would be roundly denied.

Then there's the White House and the Department of Justice.

Had the last five months not happened, perhaps there'd be no reason for either to deny the charges. But we already have a rather detailed predicate -- abundant evidence of inappropriate contacts between the White House political office and Main Justice.

A few journalists -- included a TPM reporter -- have put this question to the DOJ and the White House. Did Rove have any contacts with the DOJ about investigating Siegelman and did he tell William Canary that Siegelman would be "take[n] care of"?

But the White House refuses to answer the question. As does the Department of Justice.

For those who aren't familiar with the case, in a nutshell, during the 2000 campaign season when Siegelman, a popular statewide Dem refused to play the Southern Dixiecrat role and back the word-mugging Texas Governor and would-be President-elect during the endorsement and post-November hanging-chad phase—and vociferously came out against Bush, he made an enemy of the administration and its heavily-wattled kneecapper Karl Rove. So, using the Justice Department as a political blackjack early on, they went after Siegelman in a shady bribery prosecution that many of the main witnesses have since recanted testimony for, (as well as the exposé that a slew of Republicans were also implicated in the “crime” but miraculously were never prosecuted for it). Siegelman was quickly tried and jailed pending appeal as the “My Cousin Vinnie-fication” of the Southern courts held sway.

But Siegelman wouldn't just make do with his bread and water, and his supporters wouldn't just shut up.

They fought back—in the actual courtroom and the virtual “court of public opinion” of the media. They (his diligent daughter and his lawyers) would keep shining a light on the ugliness of what went down, and in so doing would continually “scatter the roaches” involved—to the point where when CBS' “60 Minutes” devoted a segment to the injustices of the trial last month, said segment was “accidentally” blacked out of much of northern Alabama due to what was first reported as a network “glitch”, then changed to an affiliate “glitch”, but is widely believed to have actually been a heavy-handed bit of ass-covering to blunt the story's impact on concerned Alabamians.

Needless to say, it didn't work, and the pressure continued to mount to where this stunning reversal occurred yesterday evening. It opens the door for Siegelman and his “team” to go to Washington and participate in the one thing the Bush administration hates with a passion—no, not respecting Brown people, but rather, embarrassing congressional hearings that implicate them in wrong-doing. Henry Waxman's already got a seat warm for Siegelman, so we can expect some fun and fireworks on Capitol Hill.

But the telling thing here is the over-the-top attempts to drown this blowbacking furor in the bathtub. You don't black out half a state's TV signal during a damning investigative report unless you're worried about how it's going to play and who's going to be implicated. This isn't about the local “Boss Hoggs” on the hook for their usual shenanigans. That kind of flexing comes from the bespectacled “King Wild Boar” himself, Karl Rove. The e-mail deletin', testimony-changin', shiesty son-of-a-bitch has his M.O all over that move, but in spite of it—Siegelman is out, and free to speak and more importantly, (and worst of all for the Bush admin) fight back directly.

Strange things happen in the final months of a lame duck administration. Some people don't push back as hard, as they're gearing up to bounce and do their own thang, whole others flip the script and use the “you can't hurt me” timing to allow scores to be settled. Ol' Karl isn't in the government any more per sé, but he's still quite vulnerable here for what appear to be obvious prior misdeeds against Siegelman, and as much as he may want them to , Mike Mukasey and his people may not be able to maintain their “prevent” defense for him until time runs out.

What's the “prevent”?

“This coverage is generally used as a “prevent defense” to be used near the end of a game or half, meaning that the defense sacrifices the run and short pass to avoid giving up the big play with the confidence that the clock will soon expire.”

That has been the Rovian gambit all along—“Do the dirt, get the lead, and then stall until the clock / administration is over. Don't give up the big play”.

Siegelman's abrupt and according to the appellate court—much justified release is a “Hail Mary” into the “Red Zone” that hits, close to the goal line—and if you think it isn't, remember the “unsportsmanlike conduct penalty” Rove's team took with the northern Alabama blackout of “60 Minutes” (An FCC investigation?). That's a desperation move.

So take a deep breath. Take in the aromas. The bite of spring grass. The tang of freshly-popped fear-sweat, and the heavy, earthen funk of worry-shit.

It's not quite the smell of victory just yet, but we're sixty yards closer to it than we were 48 hours ago. And as shocking as it is to us, imagine how unsettling it must be to the bastard(s) counting every heart-stopping second off their “get over” clock. Probably seems like eternity after yesterday.

Tick...tick...tick...

There's more...

Rove On Obama

Over at Media Matters they have the transcript of Karl Rove's visit with Fox News Sunday this week:

WALLACE: We're running out of time, I want to hit a couple of last final points quickly. A speaker at a McCain rally this week talked about, repeatedly, "Barack Hussein Obama." The Tennessee Republican Party talks about support for Obama from anti-Semites and anti-Israel people. I know McCain has denounced this; you're shaking your head. But if you don't have your fingerprints on it, is this kind of talk out in the bloodstream of the American politics helpful?

ROVE: Look, the Hussein -- using his middle name helps Obama, it doesn't hurt him. So anybody who wants to help John McCain ought to stop using --

WALLACE: Explain that.

ROVE: Well, because I think people look at it and say, "Hey, look, that's one step too far. You're trying to leave an implication that he is a Muslim when I know he's not." And I think it -- you know, a lot of times attacks in politics fail -- in fact, they turn into a negative for the person who's doing the attacking because people think it's gone too far. And this, frankly, goes too far. Now, having ties to Louis Farrakhan and his anti-Semitic comments, that's -- that's -- you know, people have a reason -- that's a reasonable question: Do you agree with him? Do you renounce him? Do you reject him? But this idea of getting up there and using the guy's middle name in order to imply something about him is -- it goes too far.

Let me give you the shorter version:

People shouldn't be calling him Barack Hussein Obama, because using that name, Hussein, is just wrong. No one should be repeating Barack Hussein Obama when they refer to him. I know his name is Barack Hussein Obama but we shouldn't be using it. The name Barack Hussein Obama I mean, because when you use Barack Hussein Obama its bad for us and good for Barack Hussein Obama. Oops sorry, I didn't mean to say Barack Hussein Obama, that slipped out. So, are we clear? No-one should be saying Barack Hussein Obama. Got it.

There's more...

Karl Rove, Teacher, Patriot, Gentle-Man

Curious Students Engaged

Former Presidential Adviser Karl Rove spoke to the school on Monday, February 11. Mr. Rove’s visit easily engendered the most intense controversy on Choate’s campus this year to date. Initially, Mr. Rove had been invited to speak at the School’s June commencement ceremonies, but angry reactions from some students and parents as to the appropriateness of this setting led Headmaster Shanahan to call Mr. Rove to ask if he would consider an alternative date. That date turned out to be this past Monday...[snip]... To Rachel Kauder-Nalebuff ’08, Rove said that one thing he would have changed in his career in the White House would have been negotiating more across Party lines. “That just didn’t happen enough,” explained Rove. “We should have had more members of Congress over for dinner.

Maddie Broder, News Associate Editor, The News, 2008

Karl Rove on a political opponent:

We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!"

-- Ron Suskind circa 2002.

There's more...

Karl Rove: Whoring for All that is Wrong with Politics

photo of Sand laden scrape manure, Fair Oaks Dairy, by Accent Stainless Steel Manufacturing Ltd.
Click for LARGE photo.

More full of Crap than a Republican Congressional Caucus.
Spanish Speeder Sues Family of Teen Boy He Killed...

What Karl Rove did for politics was eliminate any legitimate sense of community.

It isn't to say, he wasn't willing to take advantage of your sense of community, play on you and your people's sense of wanting to belong, wanting the dream of a larger, greater America.

But Karl Rove when in operational mode, has no sense of shame, no sense of community, no sense of being part of something larger. Like Satan. He organizes, splitting groups up and spitting them out. Gays, Christians, white males, soccer moms and NASCAR dads, Blacks, Chicanos, and illegals (and yeah, they're illegals, not undocumented and you must hate America, buddy. Want to make something of it? Here... talk to my friends in Gitmo.)

If you and yours get run over, well... tough.

That's two for him and none for you, and you weren't paying attention.

Some people admire this. Even some Democratic politicians, we hear the pundits say, admire Karl Rove for the results he has delivered for Republicans.

I despise him and everything he stands for. I spit on the ground he walks on and sow it with salt. I say Karl Rove stands for the worst America has ever offered, the worst in American politics, and the worst President this country has ever had. Rove destroys our sense of community. He stands for dirty, irresponsible politics without accountability. He appeals to the worst in our nature, rather than our best. He is willing to routinely settle for 51% and than govern as if he had 80%, rather than get elected with 70% and govern as if he had 70%.

An article from Spain today reminds me deeply of Karl Rove.

Associated Press (Yahoo)

MADRID, Spain - A speeding motorist who killed a teenage cyclist is suing the boy's parents over damage to his luxury car, the government says.

Enaitz Iriondo, 17, died instantly in August 2004 when businessman Tomas Delgado's Audi A8 crashed into him at 100 mph near Haro in northern Spain, an Interior Ministry traffic report said. The speed limit was 55 mph.

Iriondo was not wearing reflective clothing or a helmet, the ministry report said. As the sun had set when he crossed the path of Delgado's car from a side road, a regional court found both parties at fault and closed the case, the report said.

Delgado, whose insurance company paid Iriondo's parents $48,500 in compensation for their son's life, filed a suit in late 2006 to recover $29,400 in damages to his car and car rental costs, the ministry traffic report said.

"It's the only way I have to claim my money back," Delgado was quoted as saying by the newspaper El Pais, which first reported the story on Friday. El Pais said a ruling was expected next week.

"It's the final straw, a stab in the back," Iriondo's mother, Rosa Trinidad said, according to El Pais. "Before the lawsuit we thought the poor guy would find it hard to live the rest of his life with the thought of having caused our son's death.

Let me give you that again: "Before the lawsuit we thought the poor guy would find it hard to live the rest of his life with the thought of having caused our son's death."

Before this administration, I thought any president, any administration, would find it hard to live with the damage they have caused my beloved country.

I was wrong.

With just under a year before a new president is sworn in, the damage done by the Bush administration continues to mount on a daily and weekly basis. Already the damage is so vast and crosses so many domains, the United States will be the rest of my lifetime and much of my children's lifetime, cleaning up the mess, and that assuming future presidents allow room to work, by no means a sure deal.

The U.S. position as world leader may well be destroyed forever, depending on how we get through the coming economic crisis. Karl Rove ran the politics which allowed all this to happen, and authorized the looting of our nation at the same time, the fuck.

But Rove, the President, and the Bush administration continue to act with no shame, and no sense of community. They continue to rip apart over 200 years of nation-building, while the rest of us do what we can to stop them as they kill people, while looting the country.

What is Rove doing now?

Rove is out spinning away in magazines, on television, and writing a book (for which he got a crappy advance), blaming the entire mess on Democrats (liberals), trying to say the Bush administration is winning the war (if only the Generals and troops would get it right), while raking in money as he desperately attempts to revise history so he and Bush (but especially himself) are the people who got it right.

How many more have to die in Iraq for Rove to be proved right doesn't matter, just so long as Rove is proved correct.

Really, no kidding.

This is all about Rove and Bush being right, and everyone else being wrong. It's a big game of "I told you so," we know what we're doing, do it my way.

Rove is no different at heart than the Spanish motorist who killed a teenager and now is extorting money from the family because his fancy car got dinged up when he ran over their child at 100 mph. And displays just as little empathy.

Hey...

Maybe Karl could hang out at Arlington with a sign that says:
"I helped kill your child by prolonging the war to help the President stay in power. Car needs tune-up. Will give speech on why surge is working, for cash."

There's more...

Karl Rove, Now Reduced! On Sale!

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...

Karl "Worthless Scumbag Oxygen Thief" Rove has finally managed to unload his "book". Remember all the talk about the upwards from 3 to 4 million dollars Karl was going to rake in for the ghostwritten piece of crap book? Well, after languishing in the book auction market for a long 3 months with no takers he managed to convince some sucker to take the loss for $1 million +. Bwahahahahahaha. This piece of shite will go right to the remainder bin and of course the National Review Book Corner for Morons.

One of the most divisive figures in American politics has to take the lowest book bid... I am peeing my pants from laughing. What is it the kids say. ROFL.

Ted Kennedy got $8 million for a book about Chappaquiddick last month, and honestly, who cares. Rove can't even pull in 1/8 of what Ted Kennedy can pull in.

Said Matalin, a former adviser to Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney and Threshold's editor in chief: Karl was always in a league of his own in the world of electoral politics and he now will literally create a unique genre for historians, policy makers, political junkies and serious readers. -- AP wire

Yeah, sure he will. Please, they don't really think Karl is going to be honest do they?

Unbelievable, these people really think they are going to be able to travel around the U.S. giving speeches and having book signings. They really don't have any idea how much people hate them.

There's more...

What (The Fuck) Happened

Um...Mr. President? That scandal that's buggin' you? It isn't a rash. It's um...herpes.

Hubris broke this one two nights ago, and dammit, I've gotta admit—I didn't pay the attention to it that I know I should have, because I was:

1.) A bit under the weather...

2.) Busy, as it's a short week with Thanksgiving eating two workdays off the end of it, and...

3.) ...Okay, maybe just a little bit jaded about PlameGate post-Bush's ass-covering, thong of a commutation for “Scooter” Libby.

I went to bed on it. I let it lie.

Woke up yesterday, and God-and-tucked-in-a-Whitman-Sampler-box-chocolate-baby-Jesus, the story blew up.

No, not blew up...that's not right. “Blew up” doesn't quite cut it.

Impacted is the word. Yeah! Impacted like a daisy-cutter in the middle of an oil refinery.

What is startling is that there has been no take-back, no mea culpa-massaging, or back-spin on the released passage from McLellan's book. None from him at all, or the publisher—Public Affairs Books. Here it is again:

The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.

There was one problem. It was not true.

I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President's chief of staff, and the President himself.

When Hub posted this the other day, he did so under the very matter-of-fact headline, Scott McLellan, Liar—which is absolutely correct, while also being perhaps too concentrated a distillation of what the story really says.

Allow me to amend and append that previous headline here.

Scott McLellan, Second-Hand Liar

I. Lewis Libby, Interference-Running, Flunky Liar

Karl Rove, CIA-Exposing, Reputation Assassinating, Cover-Up Master Liar

President Dick Cheney, CIA-Exposing, Illegal War-Pimping Liar

President George W. Bush, Illegal War-Pimping, and Cowardly, Ass-Covering Liar

A favorite cornered-wingnut-rat-facing-down-a rusty-rake, several axes, and-a-fistful-of-lawn-darts bleat of desperation is the one that goes “Show me...just show me ONE instance where someone actually LIED about something in this administration! ONE!—Squee! Squee! Squee!”

Generally, thanks to careful, lawyerly parsing, a nutbar can wiggle out of that corner using the old “it's more misinformation than an actual lie, per se” dodge, and thus live to beat off for another double-wetsuited, leather-masked day.

But McLellan's book's statement just flat-out implicates his White House bosses in lying about the CIA Leak Case. Yes, I saw the attempts to spin back by some pundits last night, doing their best drunken, disingenuous Chris Matthews “Wha hoppen?” confusion schtick—as though there is room for doubt as to what McLellan meant.

Understand this. Scott McLellan—whatever you may think of him, has made his bones as a manipulator of words. That's what he does for a living...when not doing stand in work for the fat kid in “Superbad” I guess. But he spent several years as the P.R. mouthpiece/“Message Of The Day”-shaper for the most powerful lazy, half-witted, nutbar leader in the free world. Careful word choice is his thang.

He did NOT call the information “incorrect information”, as in something that could be shaded or could be misconstrued due to ungrasped nuance or context.

He specifically used the word “FALSE”. “FALSE” as in, there is the the true...and there is the FALSE.

True = TRUTH

False = LIE

They, those five people he named, “were involved” in his spreading something that “was not true”.

Now, you probably remember how folks on the right went into immediate denial mode over this whole situation in the first place.

There was the school of “Plame wasn't covert!”, and the Church of “Joe Wilson outed her!”—staffed by the Freeperian Brothers of the “Joe and Valerie will themselves be prosecuted” monastery. You saw the tongue-talking Ignorocosts muttering “It's too complicated to figure out, so 'eh'” to themselves and their fellow believers. Then there were the fire-breathing Insta-Gantrys who railed, “This-uh-huh!--Is a non-stoooooooreee-uh-huh! It's uh-uh-a tempest—lawd ha' mercy!—in a tea-pot! Nothin' t' see, nothin' t' see, nothin' t' see!”

The members of “Minimizer Dei” nodded along and whipped themselves while claiming that Plame was little more than a security-clearanced Lucy Carmichael.

We found the Armitageans, declaring loudly that it was their deity who sculpted the entire, scandal-filled world in the very image of his bald, but too-talkative head.

And finally, there were “The Commuters”—no, not the daily travelers of rail and road, but rather, those who worshipped at the holy, blessed altar of sentence commutation. They, who threw their hands skyward on that “great, rug-sweeping-under morning” in a hallelujah chorus of “It is finished! It is finshed! It is...FUCKING FINISHED, SO GET OVER IT ALREADY-NYAH-NYAH!”.

But it wasn't finished, was it?

What—if I may paraphrase Mr. McLellan—the fuck happened?

I think it was this:

McLellan was put out in front, every day for months without so much as a fly-swatter to fend off questions about the veracity of his boss and peers at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. His job was to beat the wolves back, and to change the tenor of the story around the leak and the subsequent lies about it.

I believe he knew he was lying for the boss, but that they were “good soldier” lies of necessity.

Unfortunately, the sordid mess he was tasked with smoothing over was impossible to finesse, and he became identified personally with the stumbling and bumbling in the cover-up. He was clearly frustrated with this particular project, and on several occasions pretty much threw his hands into the air in exasperation and resignation over what was a hopeless situation for him. He of course, left before the Libby trial and its negative verdict, but the damage had already been done. His inability to spin bug-eaten straw into 14-karat gold was held against him, I think. His being unable to stand and lie with the cool authority of Tony Snow—and thus take some heat off the White House—made some in the White House not like him. “How dare he not effortlessly play the 'true believer' role as we need him to!”

“Fuck him. He's dead to us.”

Note that McLellan got no hook-up at FOX, or at the Journal, or any other bastions of walk-in wingnut welfare.

Soon as he booked, he was cooked. Ari Fleischer's back in the fold with his littlle Pro-Iraq lobbying/PR group that's working for the White House...but not McLellan, whose reputation took the cock-punch for not being able to spin the unspinnable.

Picture a guy who covers himself in lard, sheep blood and goose-liver paté. Said guy then puts on a windbreaker—and nothing more—and heads out into the bear-filled woods, where he summarily has his legs, arms and half his face eaten off by a bear.

Now imagine that guy surviving, and then suing the manufacturer of the windbreaker for it's not protecting him from the bear's attack.

Scott McLellan is the windbreaker manufacturer. You can guess who the angry, legless, armless, and half-faceless motherfucker is.

Once Libby was convicted and sentenced, the blame-mongers at 1600 saw McLellan as a convenient scapegoat for “it all going wrong”. And of course, once Scooter's sentence was commuted and it was as if everything was just a big, fucking joke, you can only imagine how that must've set McLellan's teeth on edge. He ate shit for months for what turned out to be an “Eh. Didn't matter anyways.”

It didn't change the fact that he was the one who took the worst hits every day for months and months, and in spite of that sacrifice still finds himself somewhat on the outs. Oweee!

Toss into the mix what he sees coming down the pike for '08 for “his side”. A potential disaster come November, spelling even fewer chances at a space at the trough.

Fuck it. Walk 'cross the bridge, pouring gas all the way. Ditch the can. Drop a match. Warm your fat, little hands in the glow.

Now, I don't think that he's gonna go all Martha Mitchell and dent a thousand Beltway heads with dimes dropped from the Washington Monument in his book. He's for the most part gonna do a version of the Ari Flesicher literary pocket-pick, where he steals a bunch of dough from a publisher for not saying a whole helluva lot.

For the most part.

Unlike Fleischer though, he's got some pretty serious in-house axes to grind, and though this book'll certainly be 98% “village” fluff, part of the remaining 2% is apparently going to be about score-settling with the people who he feels hung him out to dry during a dustbowl-grade wind-storm.

And when a President's former press secretary tells a tale out of school about a supposedly “closed”, but still “radioactive” story like Scottie did, with that administration still in power...that's a bomb-drop, make no mistake about it.

This isn't about a sudden attack of honesty.

This is about sugar in the gas tank.

Snaking the running garden hose into the freezing basement.

Greasing the tub.

Or as James Brown called it...“The Big Payback”.

And the the way you know the right is shitting rebar over this is their deafening silence to the point of not even scoffing at McLellan's revelation. Not a mention at Powerline, Malkin or the Rope-Belted Perfesser's™ cyber-shack. Not a single “meh”, “heh” or “boo-frickin'-hoo” out of the bunch. Drudge ignored it (Drudge? Ignoring a bombshell revelation from a coming book? WTF?) until 10 p.m. last night, and then buried it under links about “anorexia websites in Spain” and people going back to using horses in France.

My, my.

It may not be the thing that takes this corrupt band of wing-tipped hooligans down as I mused about in July...

3.) A major whistleblower who produces documents detailing Bush admin misdeeds. Call me an optimist, but there's always somebody who just...breaks under conscience's weight.

...But it is damned entertaining watching them try to Valtrex this nasty outbreak away—even if I did give too much credit on “conscience” figuring into the mix.

And I'm sure a lot of Beltway insiders feel that McLellan has committed some sort of “crime” with this. So much so that I'd wager—“gasp!—they've even filed a report!

(CLICK TO ENLARGE FOR EXTRA FUN)

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Group News Blog v. The Onion

Scrappy Bloggers v. "America's Finest News Source"

The actual news admittedly as told by, ahem, experts SUPER HEROES, whee... bloggers such as ourselves v. satire told by those losers over at The Onion.

Can you tell the difference? We didn't think so.

No... this isn't just an excuse to re-run some great stories and pass it off as current stuff. Yes, it is a slow news day, what's your point? Oh yeah? Well so's your mamma. Oh your mamma's so fat when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house. Yeah! Now don't you go talking about my sister. Shut up. No, you shut up. I'll bite your leg right off.

Shh. The movie's starting.

GNB Video coverage of Fox News:

What's Bill O'Reilly Really “Looking Out” For, Folks?

v. The Onion's coverage of, well... everyone. (We mean you Fox & CNN and how you change the coverage from the crimes of the Bush administration and any REAL news, with "breaking news" showing us blonde, missing girls.)

You know, this is just a thought, but if Fox ever really wanted to mess with liberals, they could put up one of these missing girl stories, and have it be about an average looking black girl from the deep south, say Missouri. Us lib types would be so freaked we'd spend the next week blogging our theories of what Fox was really up to while the Bushes could sneak an entire troop withdrawal by without us even noticing. Come on Fox, you know you want to try and mess with our heads. Give it your best shot. *smiles sweetly*

The Onion:


Missing Girl Probably Raped


"Live from the GNB Sports Desk" Tour de France coverage

v. The Onion:

Non-Doping Cyclists Finish Tour De France

PARIS—A small but enthusiastic crowd of several dozen was on hand at the Tour de France's finish line on the Avenue des CHAMP-ELYSEES Tuesday to applaud the efforts of the 28 cyclists who completed the grueling 20-stage, 2,208.3-mile...

GNB's Goodbye, Karl-O

v. The Onion:

Heartbroken Bush Runs After Departing Rove's Car

WASHINGTON, DC—"Why can't I go with him? When is he coming back?" a tearful President Bush asked advisers as Karl Rove's sedan disappeared over the horizon.

GNB coverage of GOP sex scandals:
Toasted...By Sweet Old Lady Mar-ma-laaaaaade...,
Republican Sex Kitten, and
The Arrow No Longer In Your Quiver

v. The Onion:

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything-I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Can you really tell the difference? If you didn't know The Onion is satire?

Because if someone had told me years ago the GOP was really a bunch of gay dudes taking a dump on the Constitution (and apparently hookers) while torturing brown people kept in secret prisons against the Geneva Convention, and a quarter of the US population had preachers saying, "God says this is good, please contribute generously so we can drive out them homsexuuuuallls".... I would have believed it completely, actually. But I've always distrusted them lying weasels.

Early life exposure either confers immunity antibodies or gets you caught up for life. I caught the preaching part, but have antibodies for the whole hate part. Whew.

Although now that I think about it, I really did catch the whole, "love they neighbor as they self" the Bishop kept talking about. Funny -- my old church would just hate me. And my bisexual daughter. Sinners both of us, going to hell for sure. I've still got my best friends from growing up through. But we never talk politics or religion, ever. They mean way too much to me to lose. (My, that turned serious in a hurry.)

Humor or news. Getting damn hard to tell.

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