Chuck C's In Love (NOT!)

What to do with this pickle...what to do...

Um...Ol' South Beach Charlie's recently turned over a new leaf. No, not the one on the visiting Michaelangelo's “David” statue, you sillies. Rather, it would appear that as the fine folks at AmericaBlog simply described it, “Florida Governor Charlie Crist is engaged. To a woman.”

For some reason, I keep picturing Robin Williams, Nathan Lane and a stumble-bumming Hank Azaria when I think of the post-wedding photo-op. Wonkette's there of course, tipsy as all hell, and boxing-out for the bouquet-toss...

MEN WITHOUT WOMEN

Charlie Crist Getting Married So He Can Pretend To Be McCain’s Vice President Until November

Orange-skinned Florida “bachelor 4 life” Charlie Crist is the latest in Florida's long line of moderate Republican politicians who live swinging, middle-aged male lives without women. But he apparently really wants to lose with John McCain this fall, so he has announced the impending tinkle of little wedding bells!

Charlie was married for like five days way back in 1980, but that didn’t work out so well, due to differences between Charlie and the lady, whoever she was. He had some fake girlfriend last year; we don’t remember what happened to her.

This little spectacle is kind of sad to see. The warped self-loathing and denial—while supporting every possible gay-bashing piece of legislation his party mounts (pun unintended—seriously) is enough to give anyone whiplash—especially a “known” quantity like the Orange state's Crist. But this level of game-running for mere ambition's sake is just this side of stunning. It's called “being true to yourself” Charlie. And if you can't do that, the idea of play-acting while mocking marriage (be it of the straight or gay variety) is pretty damned craven in it's ugly-ass self Chucky.

Which put me in the mood for a fine pop recording...albeit with a bit of a twist...

(Sung to the tune of Rickie Lee Jones' “Chuck E's In Love”)

How come he don't come and go D.L. with me...
Down at “The Birdcage” any more?
And how come he turn off the Liberacé...
And hang that new lock on the back door?
We call and we call.—“He's done” they say.
Heeeeyyyyy what could make a boy behave this way?

He's spurned the old times now, and every time...
His hands don't flutter when he talk.
And it's true! It's true! He sure has acquired...
A kinda new and contrived sorta swagger when he walk.
Where's his hanky and his snug blue jeans?
If this ain't reality, then it's some kinda scheme.

Fact is...
Chuck C's In Love.
Chuck C's In Love. (Love, love, love...)
Chuck C's In Love.
Chuck C's In...

...But we don't believe 'cause he's playin' for VP...
This is something I gotta see...
Is he here?
We look in the Boy-Bar.
Is he here?
We look in the plant store.
This is queer...
No, he don't come here no more.

I'll tell you what, I saw him...
He was neckin' stiffly with some girl—outrageous!
And whatever is that he got up his sleeve...
I'm sure it's quite advantageous.
What's her name? Is that her there?
Christ, I think he's even stopped using Nair™!
Hangin' with her...runnin' a game.
Oh, it's never going to be same.
But mum's the word...
We know what's wrong—
'Cause Chuck C's in love with the chance McCain'll maybe drag him along.

Don't you know...
Chuck C's In Love. (Yeah, yeah)
Chuck C's In Love. (Love, love, love...)
Chuck C's In Love. (Yeah, yeah)
Chuck C's In...
Chuck C's In Loooo-ooove.
Chuck C's in Loooo-ooove...with bein' VP!

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UPDATE: From our good friend and longtime reader from Ye Olde News Blog days Matthew Saroff, we have this—the results of an online poll from The South Florida Sun Sentinel newspaper. The question? “Do You Think Gov. Crist's Engagement Is Politically Motivated?

The results? For Charlie, Not very fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bu-lous!

There's more...

DNC Meeting Live Video Cast

Sausage making is messy and you never know what you are going to get...

There's more...

HBO "Recount" the Reviews are In

Again, due to my far-flung status, I will have to wait to see HBO's "Recount" but I am a big Spacey fan and look forward to hearing what people say about this TV film detailing the events of the 2000 election, recount and controversy in Florida.

Recount tells the story of the immediate aftermath of the 2000 presidential election in the United States, when the state of Florida became a farcical political battleground. With the nation essentially locked in a 50-50 stalemate between Democratic nominee Al Gore and Republican nominee George W. Bush, the election came down to Florida. And Florida couldn't figure out who won.-London Free Press

There is also a wonderful, detailed book about this time call "36 Days" written by correspondents from the New York Times Back to recount, the buzz is that all the principle characters put in stellar performances. I like these folks, and generally respect their work. So this one goes on my must see list.

From the London Free Press again;

Actually, there's only one individual who really gets held up to ridicule in Recount, and that's the woman who was Florida's secretary of state at the time, Republican Katherine Harris, who is played in spectacularly creepy fashion by Dern.

Recount presents Harris as a bizarre combination of vanity and fragility, and as such, she comes across -- and came across in real life, by the way -- as unqualified and unprepared for the significance of her role as, essentially, the person in charge of the election in Florida.

Even Baker knows it. As he watches Harris on TV early in the proceedings, Baker says, This woman is hopeless -- we're going to need some help on this.

All this is pretty ironic as we head toward the showdown on 5/31 and the DNC Rules and Credentials committees make their decision on Michigan, and yes-- Florida delegates for the Democratic primary race.

More reviews of Recount here and here.

There's more...

Florida and Michigan Resolution

Gov. Howard Dean, DNC Chairman in a radio interview with Sam Seder said that he expects the DNC's Rules Committee to resolve the Florida and Michigan situation in June. Should be resolved by end of June.

There's more...

Florida Congressional Delegation: "No Redo"

Florida's entire House Democratic caucus -- including both supporters of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama -- issued a joint statement that aimed to shoot down a proposal to redo the Florida Democratic primary through a mail-in vote. That proposal, floated first by Sen. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.), appeared to be gaining traction. (It's worth noting that Nelson was on the House floor last night, hours before the statement was released.)

"Our House delegation is opposed to a mail-in campaign or any redo of any kind," the statement says. -- WAPO

I didn't see this happening. It's one thing to say, let's do it! It's another to actually put together a vote for millions of people in 90 days. See, the DNC rules state all the voting has to be done by June. People also underestimate what a cheap (in a nice way!) and stubborn skinflint Howard Dean is.

To be frank I have given money to the DNC and I will be damned if I was going to help pay for Michigan or Florida's mistake and I am positive I am not the only one who complained to Dean about the cost involved here. They scoffed at the DNC, and gambled that Dean wasn't serious. I guess they underestimated him. Which was stupid in 2000 both states tried to do the same thing and the then DNC Chair McAuliffe didn't just say no, he said Hell No. So none of this should be a surprise to anyone.

There's more...

Florida, Republican Primary "War for the Whitehouse"

Uhm... The Thompson write-in campaign is having some tremendous effect!

46% percent of precincts reporting

McCain     401,320 (35%) 
Romney     361,901 (32%) 
Mr 9/11    176,598 (16%) 
Huckabee   152,525 (13%) 
Paul        35,828  (3%) 
Thompson    15,315  (1%) 

Looks like McCranium... Poor Mittens.

UPDATE: CNN Calls its for John "Crazy Face" McCranium.

There's more...