What Bugs Me When Cindy Speaks
I understood last night during her introduction. She's got a Master's in Special Ed. She talks like she's talking to her "Special Class." That singsongy inflection, the phony kindness, all of that.
I was really trying to give the Republicans their due and had resolved to sit through John McCain's entire speech. I didn't even make it that far. Cindy's tone of voice and delivery had me gritting my teeth.
I instead, scooped up my darling niece Dani and said "Darlin', how would you like to make some doughnuts?"
She said that sounded like a lot of fun. First, we rounded up
4 tablespoons shortening
1 1/2 cups sugar
8 egg yolks
6 1/2 cups sifted flour
2 1/2 teaspoons salt (kosher or sea salt)
8 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons nutmeg
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 cups milk
Combine the shortening, sugar, and egg yolks in a mixing bowl
Mix well and mug for your doting uncle's camera. . .
Sift the dry ingredients together.
Switch to the dough hook and mix the dry ingredients and milk with the egg yolks, sugar, and shortening. Allow the resulting doughball to rest for fifteen minutes, then roll it out to about 1/4" thickness.
Cut into 3" circles, and cut a small circle into the middle. Save those holes, they are delicious little bite sized treats.
Once your doughnuts are cut, allow the dough to rest for at least another fifteen minutes, while this is going on you can heat peanut, or other very light oil to 370°. Make sure that your oil is at least 2" deep.
I use my wok steel mesh tool to lower the doughnuts to the hot oil. Let them fry for about 90 seconds, then roll them over. Drain on paper towels. You can roll the still warm doughnuts in sugar, cinnamon sugar, powdered sugar, or make a quick glaze with chocolate or powdered sugar (with or without flavorings)
But first, threaten your uncle with a rolling pin.
Then pose with the fruits of your labor.
Artfully display the finished product.
Say it with me. Home made doughnuts are better than John McCain.
Dani's cuter than Cindy too.