Hand Caught In The Till...You Cheap, Tacky, Sloppy Bastard?
At the height of my clubbing,/hang-out years—a span that I'll just say ran waaaaaaay longer that it really should have, I rolled with a pretty cool pack of fellas. We were friends outside of the clubbing and night-prowling. Went to school together, worked together sometimes—some of us went back as far as elementary school through various Kevin Bacon-y levels of connection.
We were friends.
And when we hung tough...when we were out and on the prowl, with lust in our hearts, and blood rushing much further below that—we were also each other's wingman.
What's a wingman?
A wingman's your right hand when you wanna make a move.
A wingman'll cock-block another dude so you can make said move unimpeded.
A wingman will occupy her friend who's being a little too clingy.
A wingman'll break the ice for you with a potential paramour—but not shatter it so you can't stand on it at your entrance moment.
A wingman'll go get you drinks if you're at a pivotal point in the “pitch” and you don't want to break the moment.
A wingman will surreptitiously slip you cash of you're short for drinks, dinner...a cab ride home...or even—God, I hate to admit this, dough for a hotel room.
I once made a call for a friend who was on the verge. She lived in Jersey, he lived waaay out in Queens and sparks were hittin' for 'em—big time. My buddy knew I had a friend who worked nights at the Hilton in MIdtown.
“Think he can do something?”
“I'll make the call.”
Buttonholed my coat-check girl friend and used the club's phone. Piece of cake. Secured the room. Breezed by my partner and whispered, “It's done. When you get to the desk, don't give your name—just say 'Room for Charles Xavier'. You'll get a key. 14th floor. Just tip housekeeping.”
That's what a wingman does. It's not pretty. It's grimy, black-ops, black-bag work . But it's what you do for a friend. You grease, you finance, you schmooze, you finagle and cover.
All for the love life of a friend. This you do willingly.
When somebody you aren't tight with personally, filches money out of your pocket to finance his ass-chasing...you are NOT A WINGMAN. YOU ARE A PATSY. A STOOGE. A SUCKA. A “VIC” (as in victim).
It turns out that New York City's taxpayers are that unwilling “Wingman”. We got “vic-ced”. So that Rudolph Giuliani could get some ass...
As New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani billed obscure city agencies for tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses amassed during the time when he was beginning an extramarital relationship with future wife Judith Nathan in the Hamptons, according to previously undisclosed government records.
The documents, obtained by Politico under New York’s Freedom of Information Law, show that the mayoral costs had nothing to do with the functions of the little-known city offices that defrayed his tabs, including agencies responsible for regulating loft apartments, aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.
At the time, the mayor’s office refused to explain the accounting to city auditors, citing “security.”
The Hamptons visits resulted in hotel, gas and other costs for Giuliani’s New York Police Department security detail.
Giuliani’s relationship with Nathan is old news now, and Giuliani regularly asks voters on the campaign trail to forgive his "mistakes."
It’s also impossible to know whether the purpose of all the Hamptons trips was to see Nathan. A Giuliani spokeswoman declined to discuss any aspect of this story, which was explained in detail to her earlier this week
You know...I didn't mind doing a buddy a solid back in the day, because I knew that some place down the road, I could look forward to him having my back—unconditionally. You give, you get. You have each other's back. That's what friends are for.
But a dude who steals from people to finance his ass-grabbery, and then lies about it, well there's only one word for that fella.
While Mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani used/stole city money to pay for his extramarital trysts with his doggy-torturing then mistress, and then, like some piker-ass Dunder-Mifflin-ish middle-manager who's shtupping some chickie on the side and doesn't want wifey or anybody to find out, clumsily expensed it to city agencies who could ill-afford it.
City agencies “aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.”
That is some pretty low-down shit—even for a dude on the make.
See, we're just finding out about this now because of a phenomenon I'm going to go into some depth about in the next two days about Rudy and his NY posse of ne'er do wells. When he was Mayor here, he got away with unclothed emperor farts like this all the time because of a largely compliant press. When that press would cross him, (a.k.a. tell the truth) he'd ban 'em from press conferences and briefings, or feed exclusives to rivals while freezing out “offenders”. After a term of that shit, and all manner of additional evil occurring on his watch, they finally started checking his ass, and it caught up with him. It showed in his plummeting poll numbers and the only thing that saved him was the fall of the twin towers. Point-fucking-blank.
But as you'll note in the above story—being carried on Countdown, The Politico, and everyone's favorite egg-abuser Drudge(!)—Rudy managed to stonewall that embarrassing story's being sniffed out. That can happen with a local press corps who's grown tired of your bullshit and just wants you to go away like they did with him.
But he's dealing with a national press corps now. Folks with the Pulitzer/“I-Took-Down-X-Person” itch raging from head to toe. And Rudy in his hubris during his mayoral tenure was sloppy with his low-downing about town. He could afford to be...then
We know about Mayor Razor-Lips; 7WTC fuckpad. We know about Bernie's ill-gotten Booty-oir overlooking Ground Zero. We're just starting to find out about the nature of Rudy's “Giuliani Partners” client list (yes Rudy, the gift that keeps on giving is spawning another post on that burgeoning scandal as well), there's what Crazy Judith to-the-second-power has got to say...
AND NOW WE COME TO FIND OUT THAT RUDY GIULIANI EMBEZZLED CITY MONEY TO FINANCE HIS EXTRAMARITAL TRYST...AND COVERED IT UP. HE USED THE CITY'S COFFERS AS HIS UNWITTING “WINGMAN” FOR NABBING...well, there's no nice way to say it...ASS
Plain and simple.
You gonna own up to the pilferage Rudy, or are you gonna play the silence game some more? I don't think it's gonna work. I'm watching the 11:00 Eyewitness News here in NY and they just led off with the story “Bad Billing”.
Talkin' bout you, dog.
Your hometown press.
They are tearing you a new asshole and openly talking about the fact that your people hid the records to hide the affair.
They spent the first five minutes on it. The city Comptroller says you've stonewalled on this. They're showing pictures of the hotels you had the NYPD protetction sleeping in. “The Village Latch”? You say the protection was legal and necessary...but all three networks—ABC, NBC, and CBS's local affiliates are all asking the same question...
“Why hide the records of the security billing in the budgets of obscure city agencies?”
Take your time answering, br'uh.
I just wanna get this Jiffy Pop nice and hot first.
In comments, Wanderer makes this astute observation:
What I want to know is if NYC will decide to prosecute the Rudy. I mean, it's an easy several counts of grand theft and fraud, all of which could scotch his chances of becoming Duce.”
On paper, this makes perfect sense—because that is exactly what happened here. But I doubt charges'll be brought, because it'll give the city's GOP media forces a chance to bounce back and cry “FOUL!”, and have things looking like a vendetta against him. It could happen if a closer look at the ledgers—and baby, EVERYBODY'S puttin' in city FOIA requests now, turns up other instances of “hide the receipts” chicanery. What hurts him very badly is the trickling out of this kind of info (and trickle out it will), and the tight chaining of him back to the indicted Bernard Kerik—who was his right-hand man and NYPD commissioner at the time of this shadiness. It's the reason I depicted Kerik as his true “Wingman” in the graphic. Bernie, his ass-wrangling buddy signed off on that cover-up—no doubt.
Rudy's trying to throw the NYPD under the bus with this, when it all really goes back to the head of his security detail—Kerik. Kerik IS NOT the NYPD. He's a blemish on them. They took his name OFF the jail out of shame, remember?
Someone deep in the bowels of the NYPD bureaucracy unlocked the box of secrets on this. When someone wants something to stay buried in the city's boxes of red tape, it stays buried. The old commissioner Bill Bratton still has loyalists, and there are enough anti-Kerik guys in high places where it is not a stretch to think that they may have sandbagged Rudy with this intentionally, AT A VERRRY SENSITIVE TIME. His numbers are lagging, and Huckabee is ascendant—what better time to release damaging info?
I called this in my first Rudy post when I said:
“You will find an embittered ex-NY police commissioner, now L.A.'s Top Cop Bill Bratton, championed by many as the father of modern policing, and the high avatar of the CompStat crime tracking system used to help drastically drive crime down in NY, who found himself vilified and eventually dissed by Rudy when the credit for the crime drop started going his way instead of the Mayor's. Giuliani turned on him in a flash, deriding him publicly, and leaking shit privately to reliable press flunkies to make Bratton look bad. He effectively drove Bratton out of town along with a slew of hard-core, 25-and-30 year NYPD brass loyal to Bratton and his methods. Bratton's successors in the job were the corrupt yes-men Howard Safir and yes...Bernard Kerik--of the post 9-11 ripoff, and near hook-up-via-Rudy-as-a-crooked-assed-Homeland-Security-Boss. As Bernie's trial nears, one can only wonder what kind of nasty, Rudy-centric stories will find their way into print from that pipeline of cast-off copper chums of Bill Bratton's. It'd be the kind of stuff that would make "Sweet Smell Of Success" bastard cum laude J.J. Hunsecker say, "Mister...that's plenty cold.
This info has been dug around at for five years, AND NOW IT SURFACES?
Are we kids, or what?
He was sloppy because he thought he was God of the Five Boroughs. I'm sure he's making all sorts of calls to people in town who knew him and still have a hand enough in to maybe call off the dogs, but you'll note that even his hand-picked successor Bloomberg couldn't...or wouldn't make this go away for him. Make of that what you will.
The more he tries to say “The NYPD did it...not ME!”, the more the people at One Police Plaza who hate him—the guys with the bad pallor who work the files and know where every body is buried will slowly roll the bus over his gonads.
His feeble spin? “I needed the security. A Mayor's security is understood! What's the big deal?” The question everyone's asking? “Why'ja stick the city with the bill and try to cover it up?”
Today's New York Daily News and Newsday's Front Pages?
The Post is covering it—albeit reluctantly, but is going on the front page with the end of the Broadway stagehands strike. “Faaaaaaaaaabulous!”
And the instant response on the Daily News' site?
fromNYtoDE Nov 29, 2007 8:31:48 AM
Who in the world would want a cheater and a homewrecker as our president and first lady. What moral speeches could she give to our children. The both disrespected his WIFE. He went even further to make it a point to publicly humiliate Donna. Also, I am tired of him getting the credit for his "leadership" during 9/11. The cops, firemen, EMS workers and regular citizens are the true leaders and heroes. We all new what we needed to do, we didn't need to be lead on anything. The human side of people kicked in during that time. It was not his leadership. It was OUR compassion.
hjo4 Nov 29, 2007 8:41:59 AM
Some in the media was aware of this, they refused to print the story until they had to.The media also knows but won't tell how the tax payers paid for Judith Nathan and her daughters security detail.The New York media is in Rudy's pocket.There is more to come if the press did their homework.
chickie1219 Nov 29, 2007 8:46:12 AM
I agree with from NY to DE, this man does not deserve to get any credit for being a hero during 9/11, he is a cheat and a liar and he should just stop trying to run for President he is not worthy. The way he treated his family was just awful no wonder his own children dislike's him.
iralarry Nov 29, 2007 10:18:14 AM
Giuliani gives new meaning to the term safe sex! What really irks me more than the fact that Rudy Giuliani may have misappropriated funds for his extra security while engaging in personal matters, is that he has the arrogance and temerity to suggest that his security is so much more important than yours or mine! Who do these people think they are? Perhaps a president is deserving of full time security but the Mayor of a city? Please. If he felt his security was in jeopardy, then let him spend his money to protect himself, especially in matters of a personal nature. We are ALL expendable and no life is worth more than another on principle. This demonstrates the self-centered and egotistical nature of this man. He leaves me with such a feeling of loathing I could never be convinced he is the person for the job of President of the US. When elected officials serve the entire good of the people who elect them, don’t engage in kowtowing and graft for personal gain, then they can
ThatGuy Nov 29, 2007 10:21:31 AM
I myself never liked the man and thought he was a FRAUD, this just proves it. I couldn't agree with you more fromNYtoDE. Who the hell would want this cross dressing clown for President or that whorish skank for First Lady? EXCEPT the die hard Rudy supporters who think he can do no wrong. As I mentioned on another thread, I think they should scrutinize the receipts for the dresses he bought himself..... and the pumps, purses and panties too! I'm sure we paid for those also.
zabbal Nov 29, 2007 10:51:38 AM
What sleazebags both of them!! He has proven yet again that not only is he a cheat and liar, but he STEALS from the poor to do it. Almost $1m taken away from budgets targeted to help the poor to pay for his adulterating getaways - the man has no shame!! He and his latest wife are tacky thieves, who care about nothing but money, even if it means stealing from the poor. In all American history, I have not seen something so shocking and disgusting as these 2 people and their complete lack of ethics.
Can I get a soda with this? Mmmmmmmm!: