Thursday, September 27, 2007

To: Bill O'Reilly -- From: Keith Olbermann

No one stays on top forever, Bill-O. Especially when one is a walking, psyche-exposing, common-sense damaged, bed-shit on daily parade like you. You fucked up dissing the folks uptown—you know it—and as I'm sure you're finding out, this is becoming quite an issue in town. I fielded four different calls about it last night, from boiling angry Black professionals—a lawyer, and a mass-transit executive among 'em. Ohhhhh, I know you'll issue your apology on Friday afternoon, hoping to bury it—but it ain't gonna end there. Not saying you're gonna be fired—you spoke for your network and your sooty-handed, pointy-hatted viewership.

But this will be readily incorporated into the rest of the creepy, evil shit that defines you, i.e.: A sexist, manipulative, lying, depraved, insensitve, retrograde, troglodytic bigot. We intend to put rockets behind you to help speed your plow of self destruction. We're comin' for you. And so is Keith Olbermann—on your heels like a dog on a lead-footed mailman.

Steady gainin'. Comin' for your Number One spot.

The best moment is :55 seconds in. Seriously. It's enough to make you spit iced tea on your monitor...motherfucker.