Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Man You've Gotta Love...

Firing Lethal, Bullet-Like Questions At Wingnuts

Oh, the pic above isn't actually MSNBC's David Shuster—the network's fast-rising news personality has still got many of the attributes of the moody, tough as nails Clive Owen.

He's cool under pressure.

He's got that kind of “everyman”-ish charm.

And he's able to slip on the bad-ass mantle at the drop of a hat.

The latter was unfortunately discovered by Tennessee's poor, vapid, freeper congress-bot Marsha Blackburn, as she came on as a guest during David's fill-in stint for the oleaginous Tucker Carlson, to spin the still-wet-from-just-being-mimeo-ed GOP bullet points of Petraeus-worship/MoveOn hate.

In fact, I'd be surprised if the GOP didn't push their distinguished idiot gentlemen to try to somehow sanction MSNBC for how brutally he smacked her attempts at spin, silly. I think the poor wingnut blow-up-doll needs some smelling salts. Or a defibrillator, after Shuster's manhandling

SHUSTER: “Let’s talk about the public trust. You represent, of course, a district in western Tennessee. What was the name of the last solider from your district who was killed in Iraq?”

BLACKBURN: ”The name of the last soldier killed in Iraq uh - from my district I - I do not know his name -”

SHUSTER: “Ok, his name was Jeremy Bohannon, he was killed August the 9th, 2007. How come you didn’t know the name?”

BLACKBURN: “I - I, you know, I - I do not know why I did not know the name…”


SHUSTER: “But you weren’t appreciative enough to know the name of this young man, he was 18 years old who was killed, and yet you can say chapter and verse about what’s going on with the New York Times and Move”


SHUSTER: “But don’t you understand, the problems that a lot of people would have, that you’re so focused on an ad — when was the last time a New York Times ad ever killed somebody? I mean, here we have a war that took the life of an 18 year old kid, Jeremy Bohannon from your district, and you didn’t even know his name.”

“Fifteen yards...roughing the freeper...penalty is denied. Ball changes possession on downs.”

And what makes Shuster's helmet-to-helmet, open-field spin-tackle so sweet is that we may well be seeing more of it. As you may have heard, MSNBC is going through an on-air shake-up, with Dan Abrams losing moving from his job as General Manager back to the studio as a host, ostensibly to shore up the post-Imus shift of Joe Scarborough to the mornings, and to work harder at keeping the ratings and new viewers Keith Olbermann has ramped up. The other custard-soft spot in the line-up is the “Tucker” 6 p.m. slot.

Tucker's been away quite a bit lately, shooting a pilot and several test episodes for a game show for CBS/Viacom. And when the “*Quizmaster's” has been on, he's been gobs more pissy than usual, perhaps because of the increasing publicity over his shitty numbers dragging down the network's otherwise booming ratings.

Meanwhile, Shuster gets the big “Breaking News” gigs for big stories in the Beltway, as well as getting prime exposure as a special correspondent on the network's biggest, and hottest show, Keith Olbermann's “Countdown”

And he gets the fill-in slot when Tucker's away sulking and worrying about Hillary snatching his wee nads away, and makes news doing it with stories like the fricasseeing of Blackburn and O'Reilly, and Cheney fellaters like the cock-eyed Ron Christie.

The last time Tucker made news, it was because Jon Stewart called him “an asshole” and no one could rebut it. The rumor mill at the peacock has it that Tucker's pissed because the network “isn't promoting him enough”, setting him up for the chopping block, while network marketing people feel they have nothing to promote in a pissy, un-funny, unlikable hack. My sources say he won't make it past Christmas—and Dan Abrams' departure from being upstairs with the suits makes it easier, as Dan was a big champion of the chair-dancing little piss-pot anyway. What keeps Tucky in place at present is the reticence in making his daddy, (Richard Warner Carlson) an old-school GOP bigwig, and former broadcasting exec mad—or madder than he already is over the mishandling of his boy's “career” by “outside forces”.

But Shuster's a rising star at the Peacock's cable outlet, again coming with the imprimatur of Olbermann, and a much more obvious “hard news”, and less “shill for 'x' side” cast than the increasingly bitter (in the face of his party's implosion) Tucker.

Plus, it doesn't help that Tucker couldn't generate a story if he had a live feed of Bigfoot riding Nessie with baubles from the Lost City Of Atlantis in one hand, while pointing to a flaming chariot-riding Jesus bursting from a thundercloud. He after day to matter, latching onto his “I'm gonna ratfuck the Dems with this one” stories of the day, and spins them so hard, and so badly that they snap their lines like errant “Napoleon Dynamite” tether balls and go bounding into the “Who gives a damn?” cornfield—never to be seen again.

While Shuster brings us tasty, “Oh, fuuuuuck!” for the other side morsels like this one:

“If you've been watching cable news programs lately, you may have noticed the disappearance of a certain breed of guest: Specifically, Republican Senators who are up for reelection...”

"Interview invitations that we provide almost daily to these Senators are now routinely turned down. The answer appears to be Iraq. These lawmakers have voted to keep the war going but when it comes to explaining their votes on programs like this one, well, forget about it...”

“They've come out with public statements and press releases, but when it comes down to brass tacks, they have voted to keep the war going indefinitely.”

One guy makes news because someone called him “an asshole”, and he couldn't refute it.

The other guy just makes news via his honest, and tough reporting.

Let's give a little dap to Mr. Shuster as he continues to make his mark, keep the spinners honest, and relegates Mr. Carlson to Ted Baxter “Quizmaster” status.

And here's a pic of the not-bad lookin' Mr. Shuster himself:

I hear he even gets out of his chair when he dances, too! :)