Thursday, December 6, 2007

WGA Strike: Same Old Same Old

Screenwriter Irving Brecher
Meet Me In St. Louis, Bye Bye Birdie, Marx Brothers At The Circus & Go West, Life of Riley, and more.

The WGA Strike drags on.

Yesterday, the WGA put the Reality writers on the table, demanding to represent the writers who write Reality Television.

As Reality TV is a large part of what the Studios are relying on to get them through the strike, this is akin to threatening to take away the Studio's big gun in any future strike.

"No -- leave my penis alone. I NEED it." "Oh please, we're very GLBT friendly. Here -- go watch Topgun. But only on DVD. Streaming Internet Topgun doesn't pay residuals."

In other news, here is part of why the Studios are fighting so hard against the writers on this new media stuff... because if the writers get the four cent raise per DVD they're asking for -- the 2.5% raise that is 20+ years overdue -- because that same raise will be reflected in the contracts for SAG and DGA and other unions, plus pension fund, health benefits, and other payouts, the actual cost will come to almost 10 times the four cent per DVD sold.

Did I just say, instead of an extra four cents per DVD, the Studios would have to pay an extra almost 40 cents per DVD? Yep. The numbers are all nicely laid out by Digital Media Law in a post first done at Huffington.

Can the Studios afford it? Abso-fucking-lutely. Yes. You betcha. Yes Ma'am. Yep. No kidding, yeah, ya'huh, and that's right! Ice... man.

The total cost per studio per year of this proposed raise for all of the contracts combined -- WGA, DGA AND SAG -- isn't even the cost of ONE middle-of-the-road movie per year, let alone the cost of advertising the movie. It's a no brainier. Which explains of course, why the Studio executives are fighting it so hard.

This video below shows who the executives are fighting against. It's you and me, and every other working stiff. It's the Union...

Who's On The Line

Where do I go to get strike news?
Nikki Finke.

And most importantly, from...

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com (Who ain't so damn funny.)

Updated 9:15 AM PT:

Holy Shit is Alec Baldwin Fucking Stupid.

Alec Baldwin suggests the writers go back to work and let the negotiations keep going.
Huffington Post

The strike should end now. The writers should go back to work. Continue negotiating, but go back to work. The report in yesterday's New York Times about NBC buying blocks of programming from "outside producers" is a view to our future. Just as MOWs were killed off the networks and original movies became the exclusive realm of the cable broadcasters, one can envision a future where more scripted programming moves to cable. Eventually, HBO and Showtime, et al, may become the place to find the bulk of scripted shows. With these people calling the shots, anything is possible.

In the meantime, the writers, and the other sellers as well, have a different idea they can try. I recall when a popular late night talk show host skewered the head of his own network for a prolonged run, right there on his show. On and on it went and, from what I heard, that network head was apoplectic. These people have bigger egos than even the stars themselves, but without any sense of humor. I want the WGA to set up a website and on that website we can all post stories about every no-talent, idiotic, amoral producer and executive we have ever dealt with. Just like they do to us on shows like Extra and sites like TMZ (owned by Warner Brothers.) Set up a website and tell the entire world, via the internet, your own anecdote about some of the witless boobs you have endured in Hollywood and beyond. The strike will end in a week.
Well, why don't I just fuck your girlfriend, Alec, in a bedroom right off the negotiating room. Really paper thin walls, and a headboard that slams into the wall as she moans and screams and cries out, gasping and calling my name.

Every couple of hours of negotiations we'll take a 30-45 minute break so the two of us can tear one off. She is, multi-orgasmic, right? Oh, don't worry; she will be. And during negotiations Alec, with you sitting over there with the Studio producers, she and I'll sit next to each other, almost in each other's laps, my hand dipping out of your sight under the table and she's wearing that oh so so short, short skirt. And you know she never wears panties Alex, as she and I smile at each other, barely even aware you're in the damn room.

This can go on for weeks as the lawyers negotiate.

What are we negotiating? Her sexual fidelity with you.

My hand out of sight, moving back and forth slowly, oh so slowly as her breathing deepens right there in the room right across the fucking table from you you stupid schmuck. Sometimes... Sometimes as she comes, gasping right there at the negotiating table, she'll look up and see you hopelessly watching her straight in the eye... and the bitch smiles. Because you know -- all this is just for Promotional Purposes.

Are you starting to get it Alec?

Every writer, every other major actor at least has the decency to shut the hell up if they're not with us, and everyone I have any respect for IS with us. Including your boss, Tina Fey.

So long as we're negotiating your girl friend's sexual fidelity, I don't ever, ever, EVER need to stop fucking her. Fucking and getting her off, in front of you. Three, four, five, eight times a day Alex, plus those extra little special moments where I make her breathe extra deep in the main room. Because as long as you're talking, you're not doing anything. So your girlfriend is mine.

As for your genuinely dumb-shit idea about insulting the executives of the Studios, didn't yelling at your daughter teach you ANYTHING?

Who do you think you are? Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog? Whose latest album is called, "Come Poop With Me!" (NSFW)

What are you, twelve?

Everything which has happened so far has only happened because the writers are behaving like grown-ups, asking for what is obviously a fair deal, and the Studio producers are behaving like spoiled 12 year-olds, throwing temper tantrums and refusing to share ANY of the pie with their brother and sister, when they didn't even bake the pie, pick the apples, peel the apples, or plant the tree. In fact, the producers can't even tell which kind of apple tastes best -- all pies are pretty much the same to them, but it doesn't stop them from trying to prevent anyone else from having a taste.

You, Alec, are acting just like the damn producers. Dumb. And disrespectful of the writers who write the lines you speak on the show that pays your salary.

Hey -- I've got an idea. Since you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, how about till the writers pick up their pencils again, what about you become...