Shhhhh! Turn your TV volume down! And your iTunes. Hey, kids! Keep it down in there! I said, Shhhhhhhhh!
Can you hear it? Off in the distance?
“Pop!” “Ker-ploomp!” “Blammm-O!” “Boom!-Boom!-Boom!-Boom!-Boom!-BOOOOOOM!
No...it's not a fireworks display...or the local bomb squad's live-round training day. That sound...is one thousand conserva-bots' heads exploding over the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to one Albert Arnold Gore Jr., Earth-2's 43rd President of The United States, and this Earth's loved-by-forward-thinkers, and hated by dinosaur-riding wingers leading proponent of saving the planet from its destructive self.
Down the line—from the unmedicated rage-a-holic Malkin, to the pissy and unctuous Reynolds, Gun-nut B-levelers, and everyone on the NRO “Ship of Fools”—various keyboards, monitors and 99¢ bags of Cheetos were splattered with bits of skull and bloody dura when the news hit about Gore's nabbing the prize. The most ammonia-pissy of the lot—the “Thunder Twins” (“Whining powers—activate!”) Limbaugh and his mono-browed pal Kathryn Jean Lopez both floated out a pink, cottony-candy fantasy where General David Petraeus should have been awarded the Nobel—for all he's done for “peace”. Oh yeah, and they feel Bush deserves part of the award, too. At which point, magical blue faeiries and sparkle-horned unicorns came down from the clouds, dispensing candy, Oxycontin, books of Sonic coupons and nubile, young Latinas all in a row.
“Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! BOOM!”
Lot of hateration and holleration up in this here dance-a-ree.
And it's so very, very enjoyable watching them just lose their minds all over the walls and linoleum-ed basement floors over Gore's accolade. So enjoyable in fact, that I figured we might as well see the action, as well as read their bloody-fingered ranting about it.
Thus, The Group News Blog proudlly presents—with no commercial interruption...
“Boom! The Gore Effect”
“Whooooo-wheeeee! They blowed up good.