Friday, August 17, 2007

Vaudeville is Dead.

Along with 3,706 soldiers and God only knows how many Iraqis—but hey...the show must go on, eh?

The um...idea, that the Bush White House is somehow stocked with this plethora of brilliant, young, baby-Rove think-tankers, wearing out their thumb joints working their Blackberries as they plot masterful, evil plots that work like charms, can be put to rest in an unmarked grave at Potter's Field, and then pissed on by the gravediggers after the “Petraeus Report” PR debacle of the last 48 hours.

I mean...much to the dismay of the chickensh-er...hawk right, I know many of us correctly predicted that the ”report”was gonna be pretty much a Minnesota-in-January grade whitewash. What sane person couldn't see that?

The real ass-kick was the White House's ham-fisted exposé that they were going to actually write the Goddamned report for Petraeus.

The "Petraeus Report" -- the supposedly trustworthy mid-September reckoning of military and political progress in Iraq by Army Gen. David H. Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan C. Crocker -- is instead looking more like a White House con job in the making.

The Bush administration has been trying for months to restore its credibility on Iraq (as well as stall for time) by focusing on Petraeus -- President Bush's "main man" in Iraq -- and his report to Congress. But now it turns out it that White House aides will actually write the "Petraeus Report," not the general himself.

And via Atrios, this from the L.A. Times:

The Wise Old Men Eagerly Await the Petraeus Report

And they'll pretend to not notice that it's going to be written by the White House.

“Despite Bush's repeated statements that the report will reflect evaluations by Petraeus and Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, administration officials said it would actually be written by the White House, with inputs from officials throughout the government.”

See, it was bad enough that they fucked up and let their writing the thing get out, but, actually is worse than that. (Via TPM)

This weekend we learned that Gen. Petraeus' Report will actually be written by the White House. Now it turns out that the White House is pushing to have the general's increasingly nominal report delivered by Condi Rice and Bob Gates, with Petraeus relegated to a "private congressional briefing."

They ah...didn't actually even want Petraeus to testify publicly, as it was stated that he would. Their choice to present? Tony Orlando & Dawn circa 2007, from the reports. So, when that trial balloon Hindenburged across the cable news yesterday, the White House denied it—vehemenly, brusquely, harshly! Until that is, they got dimed the fuck out.

But that claim is false, according to an on-the-record statement we've obtained from the office of the House Foreign Affairs Committee.

Rather, the Bush administration did in fact push for limited private briefings for Petraus and U.S. ambassador Ryan Crocker, according to the statement, which was provided to Election Central by Lynne Weille, the communications director for Foreign Affairs Committee chair Tom Lantos.

"Administration officials told senior Congressional staff in early July that they preferred to have Ambassador Crocker and General Petraeus testify in closed session before the entire House of Representatives, rather than in open hearings," Weille said in the statement, which constitutes the first on-the-record assertion by Dems that this happened.

So, the story stands right now as:

1. ) The White House, and as the busted-clock-is-right-twice-a-day Chris Matthews called them yesterday, “architects of Mission Accomplished”, will be writing the report for Petraeus—not Petraeus himself.

2.) The White House, in total fear-mode, also pushed for Petraeus to not testify to Congress publicly, but rather—on the down low, in a closed hearing, away from questioning eyes.

3.) Upon exposure of said fuck-up, the White House denied pushing for the secrecy, did the back-down, only to be exposed again, this time totally on the record as having well...lied.


The silly vaudeville act that is their massaging of the Petraeus report is laughable enough. But the message disciplne-deficit, scatter-shot internal policy debate, and ultimate embarrassment over the whole goofy debacle— truly puts to rest that canard about the level of professionalism, and raw, political ability this sillyfuck administration, and too many pundits who pimp for it, boasts of.

These...are the “grown-ups in charge” of things. Mental midgets. Clowns and resumé-padded, fourth-tier schooled charlatans.

They. Have. Nothing. Save for the few still-hot-for-war-with-Iran nuts (who we should be watchful of), and the few rats who are too damn stupid to nab a private sector job elsewhere before the boat sinks/term ends.

And we have sixteen more months of watching this...comedy play itself out.

“Foul-ups, Bleeps and Blunders!” Hot damn!

You know what? I just realized—I mis-spoke.

They actually do have one important thing going for them. The one thing that sorta protects them. Omerta. The deafening silence of the criminal tongue. And with a hard tug of the reins rightward, “Hi-yaaaaah!” they get their wagons circling.

Circle. Protect. Circle. Protect. Circle, circle, circle.

Kind of like a turd...going right on down the crapper.